Sleep Walking

I actually got out for three--yes, three!--walks yesterday, one in the morning, one before my evening coffee and one after my evening coffee. The first was around the neighborhood, the second on Mertesari Beach and the third on Sindhu Beach. I note, this morning, that I don't seem to have lost any weight. I guess it doesn't work that fast, right?

But anyway, I'm pleased to be able to walk this much, to have found the energy to do so. I'm pleased to be able to walk, period; for of course I know that there are those with MS who cannot walk. Therefore, for the time being, I feel thankful for every step. Every step is a gift of uncountable value, a blessing, a joy. 

At the same time, I have this weird, almost narcoleptic sort of thing going on in the morning. I will get up after a full eight hours of sleep, have a cup of coffee, eat my breakfast, check out the news, shower and get dressed, and then suddenly feel that I must lie down for just a minute--at which point I almost immediately fall asleep. When I wake again, a half-hour to an hour later, I feel numb in the arms and hands, and creaky, like every hinge in my body is loose and rusty. I have to struggle awake, force myself to my feet and take some time to regain a secure sense of balance and clear cognition. Then, once I get out and around, I'm fine. 

I wish that I could sleep that well, and that quickly, at night without the aid of Xanax, but night is usually the worst time for the pain in my shoulder and back, and so the Xanax is needed, and it is the Xanax that puts me to sleep.